Happy Father’s Day!

It’s inappropriate to make a ‘dad joke’ if you’re not a dad … It’s a faux pa!

After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music? Because he had a ton of sick beets.

My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. “That’s my stepladder,” he said. “I never knew my real ladder.”

Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.

Which days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.

I just broke up with my mathematician girlfriend. She was obsessed with an X.

A ship carrying red paint and a ship carrying blue paint collide in the middle of the ocean. Both crews were marooned.

Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.

Never date a tennis player. Love means nothing to them.

I don’t get why bakers aren’t wealthier. They make so much dough.

How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.

Where do dads store their dad jokes? In the dad-a-base.

I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.

Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing? In case they get a hole in one!

How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.

Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents.